Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
