He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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