im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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