the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
