Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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