Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
