So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
