He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
