well you can't waste a boner
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
