Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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