How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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