We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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