You're my little dorito
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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