Sorry, I don't speak sober.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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