Im at strip club and am horny
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
