We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
