are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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