so that wasnt chicken after all
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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