it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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