I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize