Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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