Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
