I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
