Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
