its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
