i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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