I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
