Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
