I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
