All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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