I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
