In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
