i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
