i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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