Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
