I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize