Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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