This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
