I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Randomize
