Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
