If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
as a side note pls kill me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
