Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
