Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
