I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
