ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
