normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
