but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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