Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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