when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize