so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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