I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
