theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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