I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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