i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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