You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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