I'm going to jail i love you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
