Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you will always have a special place in my vag
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
