i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
