Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And then my night got REAL pukey
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
