So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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