If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
