I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
